Out of the Closet and Into the Box
As we sit and wait for the California Supreme Court to issue a decision regarding the validity of Prop 8 and the status of our marriages, it occurs to me both how far we have come and how far we have to go. Lesbians, gay men, bisexual and transgender people have achieved a relative level of comfort and safety in a few of the more metropolitan areas and some other geographically diverse locations. However, even those of us fortunate enough to live in such an area have complications in our lives from not being recognized as family that others with recognition hardly ever contemplate or comprehend. We have come out of the closet and now just want to be able to check a box, a box that fits. When filling out a bank account application, a school application, a benefits form, there is always a box. And we don’t know how to check it nor do we with our domestic partnership status ever neatly fit — are we married?? Are we not??
Chief Justice George in his eloquent opinion last May stated that our families deserve the same dignity and respect as opposite sex families and that in fact denying such recognition even with domestic partnership recognition, gives LGBT families second class status and constitutes unequal treatment in the eyes of the law. Why the Chief Justice would now ask why it matters to be included in marriage and treated equally is in contradiction to his and the Court’s finding that being recognized as married is a core element of the fundamental right to be officially recognized as a family and excludes us from the constitutional right to marry.
Marriage makes a difference — it is a recognized commitment between two people who love each other. It makes it easier for families, co workers and the neighbors to comprehend and it reflects who our family is. Watch any awards ceremony and each person will ultimately thank their spouse for all of the support they derive from being in a recognized and important relationship and think about how many times a lesbian or gay man would like to acknowledge the same but does not have the common language to do so.
Chief Justice George well knows as do all citizens of this sate and country that same sex families will ultimately have this right to be treated equally and fairly. It takes courage to think outside the box, even if the goal is to fit in the box.
